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Author: Pkbabey

Summary: Set about 6 months after Fractures John, Aeryn and a hotel room, you will have to read it to find out more. This is my VERY first time writing, be kind or be ruthless!

Rating: PG

Spoilers: up to Fractures

Category: Romance

Title: Until Now

"You like?" His voice was soft, teasing.

"Yes, I like" Frell, she was going to give in, he knew it, she knew it.

He had listened to his twin. He had allowed her the time she so desperately needed. Time to grieve, time to come to terms with her emotions. Never infringing on it, never overstepping the line that she had unconsciously drawn. Until now.

Half a cycle had passed along with the other John. The one she had opened up to. The one she had shared so much with. This John, the one smiling in front of her had paid the price for the other dying. And yet, he had never complained, never pushed. He did what he had always done. Wore her down slowly, chipping away patiently at the shell she had cocooned herself in.

She didn't know exactly when it had happened. When she finally realised that John Crichton was not dead. Maybe it was one of the many conversations they had had. She had opened to him again, shared her emotions, not her body though, never her body. Until now.

He had brought her here blindfolded; she still held the soft material in her hand. The room was small. The bed wasn't. It was covered in petals of some kind, which were also scattered on the floor. The scent? Intoxicating. Beside the bed sat small bottles of what she could only assume would be Raslack.

"How did you...?" Her question was cut off when she felt his arm around her waist, his voice tickling her ear. She stifled a gasp. The touch was so familiar, so electric.

"Courtesy of your friends and mine. They thought we deserved a break. My idea, their help." He didn't move. Just stood relishing the closeness. Waiting for her to push him away. Waiting for the rejection. Usually at this point it would come, as it had so many times in the past. Until now.

Her mind drifted back. John Crichton, centre of her universe. Dead. Alive. Indifferent. He had brought her back from the brink. Brought her back to his world and hers. She understood now why he talked so much. It solved many things. Patience and understanding - how did he do it? When he had hurt as much as she did? How was he able to survive? He had enough love for both of them, he could survive if she wanted too, he could wait, if there was something to wait for - his words, not hers. In the beginning there wasn't, she wanted to stay away from him. She wanted to run. Until now.

She covered his arm with her hands. He mistook it as a sign and released her from his hold. He was surprised when she grabbed his arm and put it back in the same position. She surprised him more when she took the lead. She moved to the bed, him in tow. She twisted to face him, turning him so that his back was to the bed. She walked him backwards until he was forced to sit. John Crichton, chatterbox of the galaxy, suddenly lost for words. He looked up at her, eyes showing a multitude of emotion. He didn't move, didn't dare. He knew, as she did, this was his idea, but it had to be her decision.

"Am I lost Aeryn?" Those words filtered back into her mind. Ahh that was when she realised that John Crichton was indeed alive. That he knew what she had been through. He had witnessed her death, had attended her funeral, and had lived with the guilt. Those words had made her understand. Fate had brought them together, blew them apart, and then brought them back. Fate had given them both the chance to experience life without the other. She didn't want to ever experience that again.

He was looking at her now. Hesitant yet quizzical. He opened his mouth to say - what? She knew; he was going to ask if this was what she wanted. She silenced him with a finger to his lips. He smiled, still not knowing the answer but content to wait. Trusting her completely. She replaced the finger with her mouth. It was a slow, teasing kiss. She had dreamed of this moment, dreamed of it and feared it. Never, acting on it.  Until now.

She drew back from him, looking at the man she loved so deeply. She smiled when he moved forward trying to recapture the kiss. Not pushing though, never pushing. He opened his eyes. Chewed on his lip. Crystal blue eyes watching, waiting, anticipating.

She pushed him back onto the bed. "I love you John Crichton." Such a simple statement, one said so many times in the past. But not to him. Never to him. Until now.

She was rewarded with a brilliant smile. "I love you Aeryn Sun, always have, always will."

"Well, why don't you show me just how much?" That stunned him. She tilted her head looking at him.  Yes, he wanted this to be on her terms and it was. But she had to let him make the moves. She knew his body, knew what he liked, and knew what to do. She couldn't show him though; she had laid that ghost to rest.

"Anything you say Ma'am." He slowly moved her so that she was under him. He looked down at her, leaning forward so that his nose brushed hers. He peppered her face with small kisses then stopped. She opened her eyes looking at him. "A...Aeryn you are...."

She didn't let him finish. "I didn't think I was, until now..." she put her arms around his neck, linking her fingers and pulled him down.

*********************************************

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