I don't own them
to Neuroscpr for reading, and Alison M. Dobell for encouraging
me to continue this.
kept her eyes on the scanners, only occasionally glancing at the
sleeping figure. Her concentration was directed on finding Moya.
All the other thoughts that threatened to intrude were pushed
away. 'Too much right now,' as a single hand wiped away the dam
that threatened again.
had been sitting for an arn in the same position. She knew it
was time to move about, as she felt her muscles stiffen.
to her feet she went to check on John. She studied the peaceful
look on his face, wishing he could always look so. His life since
coming here had been more than any human was prepared for. Still
he had handled it well after all was said and done.
eased herself down by his side. She lightly traced her fingers
over the contours of his innocent face, longing to wake him. There
was so much that had to be said. So much hurt that needed to be
healed. The sigh from her lips was filled with pain, pain for
the fragile human and herself.
didn't feel him stir beneath her, as she was so deeply lost in
her own thoughts.
felt himself drifting. He could feel the light caress of a hand
stroking his face, but it just propelled him deeper into his memories,
the memories of her and the sins that marked his life even in
scenes flashed before his eyes, Zhaan, the nurses, the Gammak
Base, Gilina and the latest, the command carrier. The remorse
he felt was overwhelming as he groaned in his own tormented world.
dark turned to light as he thought of his constant, Aeryn. He
saw her smile, remembered her touch. The happiness he felt quickly
turned to sadness as the other appeared in his memories and the
loneliness encompassed him.
he could remember now was all the arns he had been without her.
Aeryn in someone else's arms, the yearning that had almost been
his demise. The final kiss, 'What does that remind you of?' Her
answer 'yesterday.' A knife plunging his heart, the pain so intense
he wanted to cry. 'No please no! I can't do this again!'
started crying, feeling intense pain in his ribs, the throbbing
in his head getting worse.
The thought suddenly penetrated his groggy mind. 'If I can feel
pain I can't be dead.'
He felt the
hand that caressed his face, afraid to move. Well if this was
heaven, he didn't want it to stop. John didn't want to open his
eyes, fearing the soft hand would leave. The ache in him was intense
as his longing increased.
Oh God please don't let this be a dream!' He screamed in his mind.
dared to open his eyes, afraid of what he would find. The light
was intrusive as his lids fluttered, trying to adjust. Slowly
he focused, holding his breath, for fear of losing the incredible
warmth his soul was feeling. He wanted to hold onto it as long
as he could. For once he felt safe and secure.
was startled out of her thoughts by the immense emotion John displayed.
He was crying in his sleep. Her heart stirred for him, knowing
he must be facing some inner turmoil. She feared she was the cause
his forehead, she knew she had to bring him out of it.
she called his name. "John...John." All the while running her fingers
across his face. "You're safe, but I need you to wake up now.
You need to tell me what happened to Moya."
heard the voice and his breath caught in his throat, afraid he
was hallucinating. He could still feel the hand stroking his face
and savored it.
You need to talk to me," Aeryn said soothingly.
feeling he might be in the surreal; he ventured forth and raised
his hand to feel hers. Meeting it, he felt her flesh, solid. This
was not a dream. He was sure of it now.
he turned his head to meet her face above him. All he could do
was stare, taking in every feature. He had no words for the moment.
reciprocated, just stoking his face. There was nothing that could
be said that made any difference. She took all of him in, seeing
the reddened eyes, finding herself being drawn into them totally
knew this was where she belonged. The other one still was with
her, but time would take care of that. This man lying before her
was alive. He was the one who needed her now.
John said in a cracked voice, holding onto her hand tightly, "please
don't leave me again. I..."
Shh, I'm not going anywhere," she replied as she glided her hand
over his parched lips. Reaching for her water and bringing it
to his lips, she asked about Moya.
was having difficulty concentrating, his mind still fuzzy from
lack of oxygen. He took a deep labored breath before telling her
the story of the wormhole.
he finished, she simply nodded in thought for a few microts. She
felt his body shiver slightly and reached for a blanket. Covering
him with it she spoke, "It's not your fault, so get that out of
your head now. We'll find Moya together."
smiled slightly before closing his eyes. He suddenly felt very
looked down at him. "What John?"
you come back?" He asked, reaching for her face and gliding his
hand over her smooth skin. "I thought you were so sure about what
struggled with his question, not really sure how to answer him.
After several microts she answered him from her heart. "You asked
me a question. 'Do you love John Crichton?'. My answer to you
was yes. At that time I was wrought with emotion. After I left
Moya and was flying free, I realized there was only one, and that
one was here."
struggled against the fuzziness in his mind. "Aeryn...I'm me."
looked upon him smiling. "I know John. Now sleep. I need you completely
recovered so we can find Moya."
encompassed him as he heard her words, allowing him to settle
into a deep sleep, free from any dreams or nightmares.
rose to her feet as he slept and picked up the recorder. Opening
it she carefully took out the tape, clutching it closely to her
chest. She slid it into her vest, with no plans of ever speaking
of it. These were the words of a dying man, words that deserved
to remain in the heart, but ones she would never forget.