Continued from part 2
Farscape Maniac (FarscapeManiac@hotmail.com)
Part 3: Knife Wounds
I walked towards
her; her hair pulled up in the usual braid. I call over to her and
she forces a smile. I smile back. A man in Peacekeeper uniform walked
in. I didn't take notice of him, didn't think he was much. That
was until he called out a name. Aeryn walked towards me, we had
stayed in the place for over a weeken. We had packed and was ready
to leave to 'settle down'.
on the spot at the sound of his voice. I watched the emotions play
on her face. Longing, scared and hurt. She closed her eyes as if
trying to rid the feeling in her. A dream she told herself.
out again. "Aeryn?"
By this time
she knew it wasn't a dream. The voice was real and it affected her
in so many ways. For the first time I saw hope in her eyes. I didn't
think that was a raw emotion. Yet here she was showing just that.
She had never
told me about her past. All I know is that she was Peacekeeper and
lived on a ship named Moya for three cycles. That was all. She kept
it brief, locked it away inside and never mentioned it. I asked
her occasionally testing her. Seeing if she would tell me but every
time I asked she dismissed or changed the topic. All I know was
her past hurt. I see it in her eyes when she mentions it. She tries
to forget but it's always there, inside. One thing she kept from
her past was a locket. It wasn't significantly beautiful but she
treasured it, she held on to it as if it was her lifeline.
around after he called her name the second time.
meeting you here Sunshine." He gave her a grin but his frightened
feeling, afraid ness and uncertainty were no doubt there. He was
ready for the unexpected.
in the name, 'Sunshine'. It was important to her. "Joh...Crichton,"
Her voice wavered at the start causing every emotion to pour out
into it but she composed herself, stood straight, shoulders firm,
Peacekeeper style. I saw him wince slightly when she called him
'Crichton'. "You look well," she kept it simple, formal
and never showing what was truly beating inside of her.
you don't look bad yourself," he seemed unsure.
are you doing here Crichton?" her voice was cold, or as cold
as it could be with the emotion bubbling inside of her.
told me that he felt as if a knife was touching the skin just outside
of his heart. Not hurt but afraid. "I came looking for you."
Why? You said to leave it up to fate so why are you looking for
me?" She was no longer calm. The anger was boiling over the
top. I had never seen her like this, the side of Aeryn Sun I have
He grew silent
for a while then asked. "Are you happy Aeryn? Are you truly
straight into his eyes. "Yes I am truly happy."
against his skin plunged deeper. Cutting into flesh. He wasn't afraid,
he felt disappointed.
Then he started
to talk answering her first question. "I looked for you for
a cycle now. A cycle to ask you if you regretted anything, if you
wish to take back anything but I guess that's useless. You are happy,
I'm happy you are."
I saw hear
breathing hitch. This man was important to her. Very important.
"Why didn't you stay on Earth?" "Earth?"
lightly to himself. "Sure I went back but there wasn't much
I wanted there. I was lost, nothing to guide me. No star. So I came
back despite danger, despite Dad and DK to find answers to my questions.
I got them..." He stopped and then looked confused. "How
did you know I went to Earth?"
a lump that had formed in her throat. The tears almost overflowing,
I've never seen her cry. "I had heard." She said simply.
don't regret anything?" He asked quietly not really wanting
to know the answer. He knew what she would say.
She shook her
head. If she spoke the tears would flow and her voice would not
mask the emotion in her.
what I thought. I regret everything though. Letting you leave, and
asking that question." The knife was inserted further. "I'm
glad your happy Officer Sun. I'm glad you don't regret anything
in your life unlike mine. Good bye." He turned to leave.
you Crichton!" She yelled at his retreating back. "Frell
you for everything! You promise me you would NEVER say that to me!"
were now streaming down her cheeks. "I promised you a lot of
things. I promised you to feel, you have that. I promised you, you
would be safe, you have that. I promised you to love." There
was a pause. "You had that too. But goodbye...it's the end
Officer Sun. I got my answers and I'll move on." He didn't
turn around through the whole speech. This man 'Crichton' promised
a lot; a Peacekeeper would never do that. He was not one but he
had the qualities. When he did turn his face was cold and angry.
His eyes sparkled with tears. His fists clenched by his sides. Yes,
the knife was edging towards his heart. The pain was starting to
show. He refrained from screaming.
now? You're going to leave? Give up?"
back for you! You obviously don't care, it hurts! Don't you know??
It hurts to be me! To be in love with you, to have watched you die
and then found you alive. To be referred to as the frelling copy!
I didn't feel like the copy but now...I don't know, maybe I was,
I am. Maybe we just weren't meant to be together."
would have never said that!" Aeryn strained the words I noticed.
his shoulders and let out a sigh. "No he wouldn't." His
voice was calm and quiet. "You know why? Because 'he' was not
the copy. He did not lose the love of his life to himself and he
did not feel what I have felt for two cycles. I give up simple as
still showed no emotion only for the tears but her eyes, they twinkled
with the tears. But beyond that held horror. He had said it but
she would not give him the benefit of the doubt she would not lose
this fight. "You are not the John Crichton I know!"
really think you know 'me' Officer Sun? You think you know me? I
have been pushed around by you for three cycles. Everything was
my fault, every move was wrong. If I tried something nice, you would
kick my ass. You denied anything between us and what did I do? I
left it. And then things got complicated. I should have seen it
coming but I was blinded by the love. A powerful weapon. You didn't
know me. You didn't know the pain." His face was cold. It would
surprise Peacekeepers. But no, the emotions, Peacekeepers don't
have that. He was most defiantly not Peacekeeper material.
nothing. Beside the tearstains her facial features matched Crichton's.
ball was in your court the whole time, Officer Sun. Whatever move
you made I followed, end of story."
call me 'Officer Sun'. I'm no longer a Peacekeeper remember, Crichton
changed that." She referred him as a third person.
sadly. "Yes he did," there was hesitation. "Miss
Sun." He walked over and placed two things in her hand. "These
kept me going till now. The ball is in my court now, I'll leave
because you are happy, content without me. Goodbye Miss Sun."
He turned and
walked out. He stopped at the doorway. "Can you honestly say
you don't love me?"
hesitation in her voice. "I did..." The knife plunged
right to the end of his heart. Right through. It killed him there
and then. But he walked out head up, shoulders square with confident
strolls through the door.
Once he left
she fell to the floor. Crying so hard that her body shook. I wrapped
my arms around her. In her hand she held on to a disk and a lock
of hair. Her hair. She shook her head either to forget or in disbelief.
She turned her head to me. Her eyes said it all. I nod.
I asked her,
"if things were different..."
still be a Peacekeeper." I let her go. Crichton was her past.
One she couldn't let go of. It was just like the locket of hers.
He had been her every wish, dream and hope. She held onto him for
support, she held him when she felt weak. That was everything. I
never heard her say she loved me. Those words I know now where reserved
for another heart. I know I lost her, but I never really had her.
She loves John Crichton. A competition I can not compete in. He
and her have something special. I was never her top priority, John
Crichton was no matter if he was the original or the copy. They
were the same to her. She knew but stubbornness stopped her. She
will not make the same mistake twice but will he forgive her?