from chapter 2
3--To Live or not to live
Aeryn sat on
the porch swing looking out at the field of grass. John approached
the stairs. As he stepped up on the first step, she acknowledged
"How did you get here Crichton?"
He looked up
at her. She was staring at him with her infamous PK glare.
is a long story."
can't stay. John will be back soon."
will take my chances."
Her glare watched
him as he stepped up on the porch. He walked to the opposite end
of the porch and sat on the railing. He crossed his arms and looked
out at the scenery.
was one of my favorite places on Earth. I had some great times here
with my dad."
why are you here?"
look in his eyes) "You are dying Aeryn. Your body is dying
on Moya. I came in to get you to come back before it is too late."
if I don't want to go back?"
snapped toward her. He slipped off the railing and walked toward
rising in anger) "Is that what you want? You want to die."
She didn't answer
don't you just put a pulse pistol to your head or do a kamikaze
in your prowler? Why take this easy way out?"
think this is easy?"
"Sitting in the sun next to a beautiful lake with your dead
lover by your side, oh yeah that is really tough Aeryn."
She stood up
and tried to go back in the house. He blocked the door. She refused
to make eye contact with him.
have never known you to be a quitter, not Ms. Bad ass Peacekeeper
Soldier. When did you become such a coward?"
"Go away and leave me alone."
mean let you die, don't you? That is what you want. You want me
to leave you alone and let you die, right?"
She turned on
her heels and ran down the porch stairs. John went after her. He
grabbed her from behind. She fought him. He took a couple of shots
from her but he got the upper hand. He pinned her to the ground
beneath him. He held her arms over her head.
until you say it. Tell me that you too much of a coward to live
so you have chosen to die."
"Let go of me. I hate you."
The words stung
John to his core but he was not going to let them distract him.
hate me but I am not going to let you die Aeryn. Because if you
die, you will surely take me with you."
She turned her
head to the side so she didn't have to look at him.
you lose someone you love Aeryn giving up is easy, finding a way
to go on is the hard part."
hard. He felt the tension from her struggling easing up slightly.
At least she was listening.
know you are afraid."
up at him) "I am not afraid. I am a soldier. I have faced death
How did it feel?"
did it feel sitting next to me while my life slipped away knowing
that there was nothing that you could do? I was going to die no
matter how badly you wanted, needed me to live."
filled her) "You bastard."
She fought to
push him off of her. She was crying but she was fighting him. She
finally got him off of her. She stood up. John was on his knees
looking up at her. She was shouting.
promised! You promised you wouldn't leave me behind but you did!"
Her tears were
flowing. She was staring down at John.
hurts to be mad at him, doesn't it?"
She was silent.
left you behind and you are furious with him. You left me behind
and now you are doing it again."
to her knees in front of him. They stared into each other's eyes.
you left on Talyn with him, I missed you so much and the only thing
that kept me going from day to day was my love for you. I wouldn't
let myself think about the possibility of you and he..."
his eyes. She reached out and laid her hand on top of his head.
He looked up at her.
I found out Talyn was coming back all I could think about was seeing
that face again...(he reached up and gently stroked her cheek)...that
He stood up.
Aeryn looked up at him.
you know what it does to me to know that you would rather live in
this make believe world with a ghost, a figment of your imagination,
instead of with me in the real world? May be you would have been
happier if I had been the one to die."
He turned his
back to her. A single tear ran down her cheek. Aeryn stood up and
walked up behind him. She slowly reached her hand out and gently
stroked John's back. He stiffened at her touch but he didn't turn
streaming down her face) "I didn't mean what I said. I don't
know I didn't ask to be dropped into this crazy Universe of yours.
But I am here and I am finding my way but only with the help of
my friends and ..."
He turned around
and faced her.
you. You are my guide. The one constant in my life that makes everything
The sound of
those words coming from this John as they did from the other John
touched her heart. John stepped closer to her. He stared into her
don't know how to convince you to live Aeryn, except to say that
I love you. And if any part of you still loves me, you have to fight
for me because I am fighting like hell for you."
He leaned in
and laid his forehead against hers. He looked in her eyes and laid
his hand against her cheek wiping away her tears.
is your choice Aeryn."
He moved passed
her and walked away. She turned and watched him go. She swallowed
hard as if forcing her emotions down and turned back towards the