You asked for
it, here it is. Although I seriously doubt this is what any of
you was expecting. So please take it all with a grain of salt and
let me now
what you think.
(Pilot's Chamber - a few microts after TBO3)
A veritable swarm of DRDs surrounded the hunkering bodies of the
Nebari and Officer Sun. For once, it wasn't Pilot's doing.
/Yes Moya, I know./ The waves of worry had been washing over him
past weeken in an ever increasing spiral. /I feel her pain as well.
will not listen to us. Or anyone else for that matter. It is as
wanted to open up one microt then retreated into a shell of her
next. I fear I am having the same success as young Chiana./ Then
'I love sex.'
/What?!! Wait a micr.../ 'Aeryn?' She had given in finally. Watching
suffer, holding her while she was keening, had broken down her already
meager defenses and Chiana joined the flow of tears. But this she
expecting. 'Aeryn what did you say? 'Cause I thought I heard...'
Aeryn'voice was stronger this time. Resigned. ? 'I love sex. That
is how all
of this started.' Her face turned upwards to meet Chiana's incredulous
'I am as female as you Chiana. Only not as obvious about it.'
Oh, this was good. She had no idea where it had come from, and meeting
Pilot's eyes across the chamber Chiana was sure neither did he,
but this was
way too good. She hoped he had the sense to record it.
'What? You think because I was a Peacekeeper I was less inclined
to have a
good time with a male? Or more than one?' The Nebari's eyes just
and wider with each declaration. But Aeryn seemed not to notice
behind it. 'It was because I was a Peacekeeper that I valued every
encounter. And actively looked for the oppotunity to recreate. I
Relished it. But that's all it was. Sex. And then it all changed.'
wariness that had invaded her eyes before seeped through once more.
listened on, mesmerized. 'An inferior species crashed into my life
everything upside down. I was declared irreversibly contaminated
apart from my own race forever! I would never know the touch of
Sebacean male again. That, I resented very much.'
Her breathing was becoming more labored as she reminisced. Aeryn
took a deep
breathand cosed her eyes, trying to calm her frayed nerves. After
she opened her eyes again and continued. 'But John was here. He
around. It seemed as if everything revolved around him one way or
Whether good or bad, he was at the center of things at all times.
enough, he came through it all with ease. He laughed for the most
reasons and faced every ordeal, every setback with a smile on his
I couldn't help but notice how much he resembled a Sebacean male.
alien, to be sure. But he looked so Sebacean. So much like home.
And I was
so lonely.' Her voice faltered a little, but she kept on going.
'It took me
some time to accept the idea of recreation with him. You know what
Peacekeepers think of inter-species mating. But I needed a male.
was no way back for me. So I made up my mind to approach him about
Gilina showed up. And I knew it wasn't about sex anymore.' Aeryn
calmer now. There was a rueful smile on her lips. That, at least,
something. Chiana breathed easy for the first time in she didn't
many arns. She sat back and let the former PK lean on her. She wanted
know what had brought this confession on, but at the same time she
wanted to hear it all. Smutty details included.
Aeryn gathered her freefalling hair in a lose braid before continuing.
hands still trembling occasionally. She resumed her tale as she
tucking a few stray hairs behind her ears. Something John normally...
don't go there yet./ Thought Chiana. /Give her time./
As Officer Sun's deeptoned voice carried over to Pilot, he couldn't
wonder if, throughout the cycles, they had come to know Aeryn at
word she uttered, every moment remembered, it seemed to be someone
life. Commander Crichton surely had, but then again, Comander Crichton
died. And the one left to them all had had too much happen to him,
much rejection from the object of his desire to truly know her as
have. And now Pilot was not sure Crichton would ever get the chance
'You see Chiana, recreating is not about feeling. It's about relieving
tension. About pleasure. Adrenaline. Recreation is more often than
and violent. You do it and that's it. So you can imagine my surprise
felt jealous of Gilina. I didn't even know what jealousy was let
to cope with it. I only knew seeing them together made the pit of
burn and made my whole body tense inmediately. Not only that, but
I felt an
irrational rage at John. He was the cause of that feeling. I didn't
but he was to blame. So I acted accordingly. That, in a not-shell
would say, is my story with John.
Through Gilina, Namtar, that time in the Flax,' /The flax? What
the flax?/ Chiana's mind was reeling. It had all gone absolutley
not as she
intended. Now she was learning all this about the mindfrell relationship
all relationships, when all she wanted was to help these two to
a relationship. But first they had to save John from himself. 'Katralla...
I was even jealous of you at one point. Oh, how I wanted to space
trying to frell MY male. <chuckle> All those times and more,
I felt desire,
jealousy, lust. All directed at John. Eventually we started to get
each other. How he ever had the patience to stand my constant advancing
retreating I'll never know. There a few times when we almost acted
those feelings, but through it all John kept asking me what did
I want. And
making very clear that he wouldn't be satisfied with sex alone.
recreation there was not even mention. We did have one precious
but it got all twisted by mistrust, and hurt. That all changed when
This was all a little too much fro Chiana. She came here to convince
to help them bring John back, not to play Zaahn to the emotionally
Sebacean. But she had the feeling interrupting her right now would
cause more problems. Frell!! Why couldn't anything ever go the way
Aeryn's voice brought the young Nebari out of her reverie. 'It wouldn't
mattered, you know? No matter which John had come aboard Talyn,
it would all
have played the same. I was ready. I was ready for anything to happen.
Anything. You remeber what you said to me a few solar days before
You were right. I needed a good frelling.' Chiana's jaw dropped
so fast the
only thing preventing it from falling on Moya's floor was the fact
still attached to her. Oblivious to her stricken face, Aeryn plowed
eyes gleaming. 'And he gave it to me. Oh, did he ever. Two cycles
of pent up
fluids, passion and total consuming lust went out of the air lock
I gave in to him. he ws so good. And it didn't matter one drannit.
matter were his arms around me. His breath on my neck. The steady
his heartbeat during the sleep cycle. He showed me what love was.
me how to love. And I learnt to be loved.'
/Oh, goddess./ To say Chiana was uncomfortable would be an understatement.
She wanted to sink through the leviathan's floor to some dark, murky
of the sentient ship. /Where are the Peacekeepers when you really
them?/ Cycles running from them and not a decent Marauder in sight
she could use one. Figures. She didn't even dare to look at Pilot.
scandalized. And she'd done everything possible with her body at
Pilot must be hiding beneath his op-table by now.
Aeryn was a nova by now. Nothing could stop her tirade. 'What the
human didn't teach me was to cope with the loss of him. Loss wasn't
in his crash course on emotions. Even my mother's death was nothing
to the feeling of utter desperation and loss which filled me as
Because when I thought she had died, He was by my side to support
me through it.' She was trembling again. But Chiana suspected the
much more visceral than the previous attack had been. 'No. We didn't
loss. The rythm of life in Talyn was so frantic we never had time
on the deeper feelings. He taught me about multiple orgasms and
oral sex. I
learnt to crave his touch as he petted me. I learnt to listen to
pleasure and mapped every tiny metrac of his body. I discovered
the joy of
simultaneous climax and to look into his soul as he bared it when
himself melt into me. But I didn't learn about loss. Because we
fathom losing one another. I couldn't.' Aeryn had gradually become
subdued and once more fell silent. As if her strength had left her.
/Now./ Thought Chiana. /But how do I tell her? Never mind. It can't
difficult./ But before she could open her mouth to speak, Aeryn's
filled the chamber once more.
'The same way I couldn't face him when I returned. I wasn't strong
He was there in front of me and all I wanted was for him to take
me in his
arms and hold me. I wanted him to frell me to the point of exhaustion,
I wouldn't see his face again. But all I could see was His face,
with radiation, slowly losing all vitality. It would have felt like
a corpse. how sick is that? I needed to sort myself out. They both
my mind to form only one image. And that was the problem. Because
were the same, which of course they were, I could never feel his
touch on me
again. I would never be held in is arms. And I so wanted to be held,
Chiana.' Aeryn had begun sobbing again, letting the tears trail
as she continued talking.
'I want him back, Chiana.' By this time Aeryn was practically wailing.
was crying so hard. 'I want to be loved by him again. Please tell
me what is
wrong with him. What can we do?' Her eyes told of a desperate hope.
to any and all possibilities. Drawing her in. Hezmana, she didn't
to ask or cajole her. Was this how John did it? Just listening?
Now it was her turn to be supportive. 'Aeryn, he never stopped loving
Chiana new Aeryn by now, and did not believe for a moment she ahd
that love lost. But now was not the time to dwell on that. 'Look,
found out what the problem is. And there might be a cure. But we
help for it to work. No, John needs you. Will you help?' She had
around Aeryn by now. At once supporting her tall frame as well as
fragile self. She kept her eyes on those of her Sebacean friend.
wasn't a friend after this, when would she be? She saw the resolve
slowly into them. Felt the strength return to her stance. A determined
came over her features as she stood erect and, to Chiana's surprise,
'Let's go find Jool.' She said. And with a nod towards Pilots towering
figure, they left the chamber.
A myriad of emotions swam over Pilot's mind as he commiserated with
ward. /Yes, Moya. I do believe there may still be a chance for John./
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