A Return to
The corridor was the same. It was Moya, the one he remembered. The
Moya he was supposed to be on. After so many so-called unrealized
realities John Crichton wasn't even sure he was himself anymore.
Not any easy task when you have lived your life, and the life of
your twinned self.
He managed, after so many trips, to find his way back to the same
spot he was in when Einstein's wormhole sucked him in. The right
path put him back just microts after he left. Before he even had
a chance to ask Pilot to deploy the docking web, he was already
being dragged back onto Moya.
Crichton, what happened to you," D'Argo questioned him when
John entered the maintenance bay. "One microt you're floating
out there and then you get sucked into the wormhole, and before
we have a chance to look for you, you re-appear."
"It's a long story," John said placing his hand on the
Luxan's shoulder. "I have a lot to tell you, but first I have
to take care of something."
John set his helmet back on the shelf and began to pull down the
zipper on his suit. He turned back to D'Argo to see him shake his
head and smile. It was funny how tenuous their relationship had
been at the beginning, now he could read John so easily. D'Argo
knew the reason he didn't have time to explain his absence. It was
Aeryn. It was always Aeryn.
"You are like a plague, John Crichton and you have ruined my
life," he remembered Aeryn saying. She said it to him, or was
it the other one, on Talyn. Did it really matter now that he had
lived that life as well?
Aeryn was sitting on one of Moya's window bays. Her back was turned
to him and she was staring at the spot where he had disappeared.
She was stroking her pulse pistol with her right hand. John smiled.
She caressed the cold dark metal weapon the way most would a pet.
He walked into the room and stopped half way. John wanted to run
to her and take her in his arms, but she would probably find that
odd. Especially since he had been giving her the cold shoulder for
What to say? How to break the silence? He thought about it for a
while then the lines of a poem from a college English class came
to mind. It was by John Dunne, and it seemed to fit them.
"Take me to you," John said as he walked closer to Aeryn.
She turned at the sound of his voice, and he could see the wariness
in her eyes.
"Imprison me," he continued as he made his way to her
side. John reached out his right hand and stroked her raven hair.
"For I shall never be free, nor ever chased, except you ravish
Turning her head slightly, Aeryn looked into his eyes and he could
see the hesitation. John found it odd to see the indecisive look
in this woman. In all the time they had known each other she had
a quiet assurance about her, and it was odd to see this in her.
"What was that," she finally said. "What does it
John knelt down beside her and placed his hand on her knee. Now
he was looking up at her and stared into her wide dark blue eyes.
"It means I have been an idiot," John said bowing his
head. "It means I know everything and I know why you couldn't
talk to me, and I am sorry for shutting you out."
"What are you talking about," Aeryn questioned him as
she lifted his chin with her index finger. "What do you know?"
John stood and sat down beside her. He stroked her cheek with his
left knuckle and rubbed his thumb across her lips.
Aeryn couldn't stop herself. She captured his hand and kissed it,
holding it close to her. She didn't want to let him go, for she
had longed to again feel the sweet caress of this man.
"I know what you had to go through," John answered her.
"I know it all."
"John, what are you talking about?"
Moving closer to her, John swung her around so that her legs dangled
from the window ledge so they sat shoulder to shoulder. Side by
side now he placed his head on Aeryn's shoulder. He just wanted
to be close to her. The Aeryn who hadn't seen the horrors he had
seen. Sure, she had lived through some of it, but not all of it.
The realities where Zhaan never brought her back to life, the one
where he didn't get the nerve tissue back to her in time, or the
worst was when she was exposed to the radiation on Dam Ba Da instead
of him. He sat beside her on the bed and watched the life fade from
her eyes, until all that was left was an empty shell. It was more
then he could bare and it was then he knew, whatever reality he
landed in, he would give his life before he lived it without her.
Lifting his head he kissed her shoulder. It was the same kiss he
had given her so many cycles ago on the fake earth, when they had
first made love. When John first realized that his fascination for
this dark and dangerous creature had shifted to something deeper.
Love, obsession, was there a difference where Aeryn was concerned?
John continued to trail kisses along her shoulder until he moved
to her long shapely neck and then his lips found hers. The kiss
was slow and quickly grew more feverish as both drank in the other.
It was a kiss of remembrance, a kiss of hope.
Breaking the contact, John whispered Aeryn's name as he rubbed his
nose with hers. It was their secret caress, their way of connecting.
John breathed deeply as he stared at her. She stared back at him
awaiting some sort of explanation for the change in him. He had
told Aeryn to come back when she got her story straight, so John
was sure she was puzzled by his sudden turn around.
"I," John began and then stopped. John rubbed his right
thumb over his lip.
It made Aeryn smile. How long had it been since she had seen him
use that gesture. That was the inquisitive Crichton, who was trying
to figure out a way out of another predicament he had gotten himself
in. Which made Aeryn wonder what had John so unsure. It had been
a while since she had seen him this way.
"Aeryn, I have seen things, been through things," John
began. He grabbed her hand and clasped his fingers around hers.
"I know you couldn't tell me about where you had been when
you returned to Moya, because of the timeline."
John could see the shock on Aeryn's face at his revelation. "How
do you know, none of that has happened yet?"
"Yes it has," John answered. "I have lived it and
I have changed it, and I know what happened to you on Talyn because
I have lived that as well. Lived it in so many different ways, that
I never want to think about it again."
"All I want to do is be with you," he continued. "I
love you Aeryn Sun, beyond hope. I have always loved you and not
even death will change that. Believe me, I should know."
"I don't know what this reality will hold, with half the universe
chasing us," John admitted. "All I know is that I don't
want to live it without you ever again."
"I can't make promises John, not yet," Aeryn told him.
"I know I have hurt you so many times, and I want to be able
to find out the truth about the baby before we resolve us."
"Don't let that stop you, Darlin'," John said in his good-ole
boy voice. "Let's just say that when we get that baby out of
stasis, she will come out with her mama's dark hair and her dad's
knack for bad plans."
Realization hit Aeryn and she smiled. A real smile that spread across
her face and lit her eyes. She leaned into John and kissed him,
and for the first time in her life she felt at home.
by Denise: The Just Be Glad Game
Return to the fiction page